How Striving to Become Nicer to Yourself Helps You Become a Better Homemaker

I tend to reflect a lot on my life. Why do I do the things I do? Why do I say certain things? If you’ve read the previous post then you know I’ve struggled with negative self-talk for a while now. But just because I’ve struggled with it, doesn’t mean I can’t do something to change this behavior. If you struggle with this horrible habit, hopefully, these methods will help you overcome negative self-talk habits as well.

So what exactly am I doing to become nicer to myself?

Easy! Well, it’s easier said than done, but it’s easy. I’m going to give myself grace. This is something I tell my friends to do all the time, but rarely apply it to myself. Is this the case for you as well? Why is it always easier to give simple solutions than it is to perform simple solutions? We both need to get gentle with ourselves, especially, when we make mistakes. 

Well, I think, that’s because the solutions are not so simple to put into action. In order for me to give myself some grace I have to:

• unlearn a learned behavior
• be conscious enough to slow my mind down
• Not stress about things I have no control over

Acknowledge all the roles you perform each day as a homemaker.

As homemakers, we do a lot each day. Personally, I’m a wife and mother. I cook, clean, homeschool, run my own business, garden, train my pup, prep her food, make budgets, grocery lists, etc., and somehow I expect myself to stay sane, successful, and sweet all at the same time. It’s pure insanity, I’m sure. If you haven’t done so already, list all the things you do for yourself and others on a daily basis. I bet our lists are very similar.

Doing all of this isn’t really a problem, there are ways to manage it all. The problem comes in when we talk down to ourselves, beat ourselves up for not getting some things done, or done properly. To be honest, I tend to be pretty harsh on myself. And if I am not careful, that behavior will spill over to the people I love. Does any of this connect with you? Are you hard on yourself too?

It’s true, we are our own worse critics, but that doesn’t mean we have to be a complete jerks to ourselves. Do you agree? Do you want to be nicer to yourself too? One way we can do this is to extend grace to ourselves when we need it the most

Change the way we word our “failures”.

if we view the “failure” as a lesson, then there’s an opportunity for growth.

When you put your all into something and it doesn’t work out the way you expected it to, is your natural reaction depression, negative self-talk, and total shut down? Mine is. We’ve got to ask ourselves, “how does this help me move forward in life?” It doesn’t. So why do we continue to do it? My only response is that it’s a learned behavior.

Of course, it isn’t a good feeling. I mean, no one experiences “failure” and says “boy, I’m sure glad that I didn’t hit my mark, let’s do that again!” So no, my normal, natural response isn’t one of pleasantry. However, if we view “failure” as a lesson, then there’s an opportunity for growth.

So change the way you view the moments when things go “left”. And trust me…they go left quite a bit!

Celebrate every little win.

As much as we have to train ourselves to look at “failures” as lessons, we have to train ourselves to celebrate the small things. However, the celebration must match the win. For example, if your goal is to deep clean your kitchen and you actually do it, then you can celebrate by rewarding yourself with a glass of wine or a longer quiet time, etc. In my opinion, that would match the level of win you experienced. It wouldn’t be appropriate to celebrate this with a purchase of a brand new car. That wouldn’t match the effort level. Make sense?

So acknowledging and rewarding every little win is important. It doesn’t matter if your house is detailed clean or only the floors were swept, celebrate it all.

Read this next sentence out loud…it’s important!

Big or small, celebrate it all.

Take consistent and frequent breaks.

I’m a pretty positive person, I can see the light at the end of each tunnel…no matter the situation, but I deal with depression and just recently anxiety (which seems to grow more apparent). Are you plagued with these mental handicaps too?

It’s hard to constantly work on something every day without a break. Burnout is real. This leads to complete mental breakdowns and underperforming homemaking tasks. So the solution…regular breaks.

It’s imperative that homemakers take breaks. If you feel overwhelmed and overstimulated, you will likely shut down in a heartbeat. Breaks do not have to be a full day, it could just be several 10-minute breaks throughout the day.

Make time for self-care

Self-care seems to elude us, homemakers, especially when we become mothers. Our lives are halted so we can efficiently care for our children. Self-care is a hard concept because it seems selfish to spend time on ourselves when we have little ones depending on us to do everything for them. However, I eventually learned that self-care was very important and not selfish at all. In fact, having a self-care routine helped me to be a better mom and homemaker. It’s my sincerest hope that when you learn this lesson on self-care you’ll have the same epiphany.

Some of my favorite self-care activities are:

• Full facials
• Painted nails
• Sitting in complete silence
• Soaking in a tub with my favorite wine

Depending on the amount of time I have, I would do something that made me feel either pretty or peaceful. If none of these activities listed gives you these feelings, feel free to try something different. 

Give yourself a daily compliment.

One of the many ways we can be kind to ourselves is to look in the mirror as we get ready for the day and simply say something nice about who we are or what we look like. It has to be genuine otherwise, it means nothing.

When you wash your hands at the sink or pass by a mirror, look into your eyes and pay a compliment. It’s such an easy concept, but very impactful. There are so many positive things you can say about yourself, even if you don’t feel like your best. Here are a few things I can say something (out loud) about maybe it’ll help you get some ideas.

• Favorite physical feature
• Favorite characteristic trait
• Hairstyle
• Outfit
• Shoes
• Skin
• Smile

Conclusion

Life is hard enough already. You don’t need to add to the hardship within your own life. I am learning that to become the happy homemaker I want to be, I first, need to be happy with myself. Being kind to myself requires me to unlearn harmful behaviors, take constant breaks, show myself love, and even pay myself compliments. I truly hope this post helped you apply these tips in your life so you can become the homemaker you want to be. 

Be kind to yourself. 

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Until next time,

Celeste