How to Help an Overwhelmed Mother
Being a mother is truly an amazing experience, but there are times when it can be overwhelming. Usually, we are the ones raising children, running a household, and balancing work and family. It can leave us feeling stressed and exhausted. As a friend or family member, it can be hard to know how to offer help to a mom who is struggling. So, here are some things others have supported me that really helped me as an overwhelmed mom, myself.
Listen without judgment
When I had my first child, I was afraid to talk to someone because I was worried about being judged. It felt embarrassing to have negative emotions after giving birth to a beautiful child. But now, after having my third child (at the time of writing this), I have realized that there's no need to feel ashamed. Although it's a difficult experience, it's actually quite common. As more mamas share their experiences, it becomes easier for me and other mamas to not feel embarrassed.
As my children grew a bit older, the hard emotions intensified and became too much for me to handle. I had to vent someone. I chose a good friend to confide in. Although I expected her to criticize me and chastise, for the lack of better words, she didn't. She let me vent my full frustrations without judgement. Not only that, she admitted to me that she was going through a very similar emotion as I was.
It made me feel seen, understood, and not crazy. Her words of comfort were reassuring, reminding me that I am a great mother and that having those thoughts didn't make me a bad one. Realizing that my friend was going through the same thing helped me see that I'm not alone. Had I remained silent, I wouldn't have gotten the healing I needed.
One of the most important things you can do for an overwhelmed mom is to listen to her without judgment. Let her vent about her feelings and frustrations without offering unsolicited advice or opinions. Sometimes, all a mom needs is someone to listen to her and validate her feelings.
I am thankful for the friends and family who have been a listening ear for me.
Offer to help her with her daily tasks
An overloaded mama usually isn’t capable of being present for her children while caring for her home at the same time. Though she puts on a brave face, she’s scrambling inside trying to figure out how to do it all, yet she gets nothing done. What she truly needs is assistance with household chores such as dishwashing, laundry, or cooking. Providing support in these areas can significantly alleviate the stresses and pressures of motherhood.
Trust me, taking on even one of these responsibilities for an overloaded mother can make a huge difference. When I had my third child, my neighbor and friend each cooked a meal that lasted a week, and it was a huge help. It reduced my mental load and physical exhaustion, allowing me to focus on caring for my baby.
Alternatively, offering to babysit the children can provide the mother with much-needed rest or time to run errands. Either option is a fantastic way to support an overwhelmed, overstimulated, and exhausted mother.
Check in regularly
During a podcast with my friend from home, we discussed my childbirth experiences. I revealed that I faced a lot of postpartum depression with my first child, but kept it to myself. My friend acknowledged that she had given me space after my delivery, as is often advised for new mothers, without knowing I was struggling.
She expressed regret for not checking in on me more frequently, but acknowledged that reaching out to a new mother can be difficult given the unpredictability of their schedule and their baby's sleep patterns. Nevertheless, a brief check-in can provide a new mother with a sense of support and affection.
It’s essential to check in regularly with an overwhelmed mom. A simple text message or phone call to see how she's doing can mean a lot. Let her know that you're there for her and that she can reach out to you if she needs anything.
Encourage self-care
When I’m feeling overwhelmed spending time with myself is cruicial. It doesn’t really matter what I do, just need a moment to not hear my name being called, being needed by someone, or touched by someone else. Sometimes I need “me” too.
Self-care is crucial for moms who are feeling overwhelmed. Encourage the mom to take time for herself and engage in activities that she enjoys. This can be anything from going for a walk, taking a bath, or getting a massage. Encourage her to prioritize her well-being and take care of herself, both physically and mentally.
Offer emotional support
Gosh, I can’t even begin to tell you how beneficial for me having a support system in place, especially after giving birth to my third child. I mainly talked to one friend about my inner most thoughts.
Offering emotional support to an overwhelmed mom is essential. Let her know that you understand how she's feeling and that she's not alone. Offer words of encouragement and let her know that she's doing a great job. Sometimes, all a mom needs is to hear that she's doing well and that her efforts are appreciated.
Be there for her
I remember when one of my friends was going through a difficult time in her life, feeling down and tearful. Without saying anything, I sat beside her in silence, shoulder to shoulder. She rested her head on my shoulder and we remained that way for an hour. Later on, she told me that she felt significantly better.
Sometimes, just being there for someone can make all the difference. Offer to accompany the mom to appointments, be a listening ear, or just spend time with her. Let her know that you're there for her, and that she can rely on you when she needs someone to talk to or lean on.
Offer professional help
If the mom is struggling with severe anxiety, depression, or other mental health issues, it may be necessary to seek professional help. Offer to help her find a therapist, counselor, or other mental health professional who can provide the support and resources she needs to manage her feelings and emotions.
In conclusion, motherhood can be overwhelming, and it's not always easy to know how to help an overwhelmed mom. However, by listening without judgment, offering practical help, checking in regularly, encouraging self-care, offering emotional support, being there for her, and offering professional help when necessary, you can provide the support and assistance that she needs. Remember, being a mom is a challenging but rewarding experience, and with the right support and resources, she can manage the stress and pressure of motherhood and emerge stronger and healthier.